HOW TO TELL IF YER A HI-TECH REDNECK
- Ya bring yer laptop to all the Tractor Pulls.
- Yer e-mail address ends in "@over_yonder.com"
- Ya connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."
- When you spend too much time browsing "http://www.hee-haw.com."
- Your spell checker knows words like "Y'all", "Yonder", and "Reckon".
- The bumper sticker on yer truck says "My other computer is a laptop."
- Yer laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson."
- When your MS-DOS boot menu contains an entry called, "Cow Tipping Configuration."
- You only buy from GateWay, 'cause the cow-colored boxes are a hoot.
- Yer PC game collection mainly consists of "Redneck Rampage" "Bass Fishin Tournament" "Race car Drivin" and "Deer Huntin"
- Yer cars sit in the yard cuz yer garage is full of dead CPUs, printers, modems and monitors.
- You've ever doubled the value of yer truck by installing a cellular phone.
- Yer baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT."
- Yer belt buckle is made from a dead 3.5" hard drive.
- Ya ever felt ya had to move yer computer desk so it didn't block the velvet pitcher of Elvis.
- When in a pinch, ya use yer laptop battery to jump-start the Combine.
- When yer wife catches ya again with your "Farm Animals of the Orient" CD-ROM.
- You wire yer network with jumper cables.
- When ya order yer new pick-up truck with a gunrack AND PCMCIA sockets.
- Yer computer is worth more'n all yer cars combined.
- Yer deer rifle has laser-guided bullets.
- When you're pissed off at yer computer warranty company because it don't cover damage from "Bovine
Saliva."
- If ya think NORTON UTILITIES is a tool shop.
- Yer wife said that either she or the computer had to go, an ya still don't miss her.
- When you have 17 different versions of DOOM, but you still can't write your name.
- When your computer toolkit contains a pitch fork.
- You've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set yer beer on.
- You ever refer to yer computer as "Ole Bessy."
- Yer desktop wallpaper's a bitmap image of yer favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.
- You start all yer e-mails with the words "Howdy y'all!"
- Redneck DOS 6.2: Y'all Reckon?: (Y)ep (N)ope
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