The First Novell

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The First Novell
lyrics © 1995 by Dr. H. Paul Shuch
to the tune of "The First Noel" (traditional Christmas carol)

Click on the speaker icon to hear this melody

The first Novell
Was a cobbled up thing,
Half a dozen XT's
In a closed token ring.
And whenever it was up
Then the sysop had fits
For it just kept on dropping
Great buckets of bits.

CHORUS:

Novell, Novell, Novell, Novell.
The local area network from hell.

It had memory minute,
System overhead huge,
And with negative throughput
Was really a kluge.
But the worst result of all
As the packets went 'round
Were the stock error messages:
"Token not found."

I will opt for Ethernet
Or a wireless LAN
Using RF spread spectrum
Whenever I can.
Using Netware will assure
An inoperative node:
You would think it was written
In Microsoft code!

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